Search “tit-for-tat” on the Internet and you’ll get pages of results. Most are about retaliation. But is tit-for-tat really about retaliation? Is it the same as an eye for an eye? Has popular culture (and politics) got it wrong? Does tit-for-tat offer a lesson for leaders?
Tit-for-Tat Strategy
Despite its name, which does emphasise adversarial behaviour, tit-for-tat is in fact a largely competitive strategy. Indeed, tit-for-tat is the competition-cooperation paradox often seen in nature but also replicated in business.
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. – George Herbert
We often think of competition as a win-loose situation. However, (business) life is rarely like this. In most situations cooperation is the norm. People work together for mutual benefit. Success is not achieved by overcoming others but by eliciting cooperation.
The tit-for-tat strategy was first described by the political strategist Robert Axelrod. The goal is always to cooperate. However, if another party is uncooperative the strategy dictates that the response should be competitive. That is, uncooperative behaviour is punished. And when uncooperative behaviour ceases a return to cooperation follows.
Nice, Tough, Forgiving, and Clear Leadership
This is also known as the “nice, tough, forgiving, and clear” heuristic. But how is this relevant to leaders?
A good leader is someone who prefers to cooperate but is also a skilled competitor. A good leader is a nice, tough, forgiving, and clear person:
- Nice – The good leader knows the benefits of cooperation in forming alliances. They are appreciative, positive thinkers that are confident and flexible.
- Tough – They know when to compete. They aren’t left behind; they are capable of out doing others through competitive action. They are both confident and courageous.
- Forgiving – The good leader knows when it is necessary to smooth over awkward or rough patches to get back to business. They are confident, compassionate, and fair.
- Clear – The good leader knows that the best outcome for all is cooperation. They are clear about this and as a result so are others. They are confident, fair and honest leaders.
Have Your Say
What strategy is the most productive: retaliation or cooperation? Do you forgive or hold a grudge? Please join the discussion.
Creative Commons image courtesy valilouve.
Fun, fresh, and compelling material. Perhaps the optimal sequence of the leadership attributes might be clear, nice, tough, and then forgiving?
Great post and the points are well taken, I think I need to practice the tough part, but keeping everything in balance.
Thanks for the post!